Yami & Peter

I was priviledged to produce the wedding for Yami and Peter last night and I cannot express how happy I was to have been a part of it. All couples should take Yami & Peter's wedding and use it as an example on how to perservere in the face of wedding challenges. Like many brides, Yami was so excited to plan her day. When the planning began it became more than they really wanted - just to have an intimate, swanky and fun event. They selected a great Boston venue but after finding that their wedding was getting bigger than they wanted, they decided to take it to the tropics. They invited a few select friends and family members and planned location tours and fun dinners. Their plans were in place at the lux Moon Palace Resort and then came the H1N1 epidemic. All flights in or out of Cancun were cancelled. So, after much grief, they decided to cancel their dream tropical wedding. Now, the panic sets in - what are they supposed to do? Put it off for 6 months or just go for it? I assured her to go ahead and just do it! All plans can be done is a couple of days as long as you are willing to be flexible and decide to stick with what is most important to you. They were able to plan the third wedding in just three weeks time by securing a church, venue (which was to be used for their return party), new dress, flowers, tux - everything. So now that the sad part is over, on to the best reception I have ever - yes, ever - been to. The reason I say "ever" is because this is the nicest couple who is deserving of such a day. At her rehearsal I had the crowd applaude them because we never thought we'd see this day. We set her venue in rich purple linens and silver chiavari chairs. We accented the room with lime green orchids and sashes on the bridal party chairs. The room was backlit with a lucious fuscia glow that completely transformed the room. Yami rolled up, literally, in an antique Rolls Royce with a long white stretch behind her. Even in the heat, it was difficult to get the guests inside as they wanted the first glimpse of her exiting the car. From the last pew in the church I was able to get a full view of the congregation. The kleenex was pulled and cameras were flashing at every move they made. It seemed as though the guests were hanging on every word. When the ceremony ended, Peter embraced Yami and gave her the sweetest, most loving kiss I have seen in a while - truly romantic movie quality! Out onto the court where Yami and Peter thanked their guests and snapped photos. That's where I had to leave them and get ready to greet their many guests at the venue. Yami and Peter decided to have a cocktail reception instead of a sit-down dinner which to me was a smart decision because that is what they wanted in the first place. Yes, they had more guests than anticipated but an hour after guests arrived, the smiles and laughter filled the hall. A fun candy display greeted the children but I saw many adults indulging as well! It was too cute not to take a picture of so I made sure the photographer got a shot before it was cleaned out! They danced through the night with everyone they love. Even though it wasn't their first choice, they made it work for them and I commend them for their patience and absolute resolve to be together as husband and wife. That truly is what it's all about. I have never told a couple you can't have "X" - it's whatever they want to do - but, Yami and Peter did it. No matter what "X" was - they just wanted to be married. Love it!

Diva's

So you have your four bridesmaids which are supposed to be at your moms house at noon to get dressed. You pre-paid hair and make-up stylists as a gift for them all but nobody shows. So, the calls begin with one question - Where are you? You gave them a schedule and asked them to please be there on time but they are all over the map. One is getting a pedi and decides to stay there for make-up. You can't reach two and are texting like crazy. The last is coming in late because she didn't know she was supposed to be there at 12:00 and made another appointment for 1:00. As a bride you are put in the position of basically - freaking out. People are going to be late and it's affecting your wedding day schedule not to mention your mood. If they are late, you will be late. All I can say is this is unacceptable. You should not feel that your day will be delayed because other people were not listening, forgot or otherwise don't care. Always remember that regardless of how many attendants you have - you are the only Diva today. Don't let selfishness ruin your mood. There needs only be five people at the church - you, your groom, two witnesses and the clergy. All the rest is gravy. So, don't let them stress you. And, believe me, I know that you did the rehearsal and you're thinking how you can have them not be in the wedding but it always works out and they will be there. Just because they are not at the house when they are supposed to be - doesn't mean you are not married at the end of the day.

Mind Your Manners

So, you are a guest at the reception and it looks like you don't have a place card. It's too hot in the room. The buffet is empty. As a guest, and if any or all of these thing occur - who should you tell? Please tell me it's not the bride, groom or their parents. Obviously, at this moment, the bride would not be changing the thermostat, refreshing the buffet or making you a little card with your name on it. But, so many guests feel that it is OK to point out the flaws during a reception that it makes a couple feel that their guests are not enjoying themselves. If you do decide to complain to any of the people mentioned above about any of these situations, I can put it perspective of what will be the result. So for example, your place card. A bride is coming into the reception lobby fresh from rushing through photos, you tell her there isn't a card for you. She is going to look at you with a horrified look because she knows you are supposed to have one but can't believe she missed your card. She will feel terrible and guilty for not making YOU feel special. She will be trying to think of who she put you with and wondering if you even know the other guests to find them. So, you've now created a task for her to accomplish before she can proceed to what she needs to do - which is get ready for introductions. On to the A/C. Unless they have booked an historic venue with no chance of A/C you're out of luck. But, I can assure you, the A/C is on in a venue throughout the summer and the winter. Venue personnel know that each body that enters the room increases the temperature by one degree. Add alcohol and dancing and you've got a heat wave. Event staff do not try to torture guests, but, the temp can only go down so far. So, you find the groom who is rolling through his college antics, with friends he hasn't seen in years, to tell him it's too hot. He will now leave his friends, go find a waitress (who is trying to get meals out to other guests), to go with him to check the thermostat himself. He will see that it is as low as it can go, shrug his shoulders and tell you "hey, it's on". Again, he's checking the temp when he should be enjoying his reception. And now, The Buffet. You arrive at the buffet after your table number is called - the fourteenth table. There are a couple stream trays that are empty and you are starving. So you take what you can and head back to your table. The bride and groom come to your table to thank you for coming and ask if you are enjoying your meal. "Yes, everything is fantastic" should be your answer but instead it's "yeah, the buffet had nothing in it. The food was gone by the time they called our table". Picture the groom zooming in on the buffet and looking to see who he can strangle over this. He will want to find staff but, he see's the father of the bride first. He tells him to check the food situation and the result is Dad finds the event manager and reams them out because he spent thousands of dollars on this wedding and it's his only daughter and they are ruining it for her and that he wants a credit, etc., etc.. I agree that the buffet should be stocked, and the new, fresh tray may be coming through the door right when you walked back to your table but the Bride and Groom are not the people to discuss this issue with. So, if you are ever attending a wedding - mind your manners. The bride and groom can absolutely accomodate your issues - but it's not their problem. As a planner, producing hundreds of weddings, I can honestly say that these situations come up frequently. I am sure that the A/C issue comes up at every event and the buffet is a timing issue but the place card situation will happen with a harried bride. Each issue is resolvable and not something to get the whole room in an uproar over. But, really, ask the staff and give the couple what they really want - a chance to say YES, we did it and now lets enjoy it.

Dress Nice - OK

We really have to get people back into the idea that Weddings are more than just a celebration - they are an opportunity to dress to the 9's. My Bride will always look incredible but when guests arrive in sneakers, a loose dress shirt without a tie and baggy dress pants - it bothers me that they didn't make the effort. I produced a wedding last night where the guests were dressed fab! Hair, Make-up, gorgeous cocktail dresses and even some full length gowns. The men were in suits. Not just off the rack suits but Suits - triple layers with incredible ties and shoes that some alligator wishes he had back. That is how you should dress when attending a wedding ceremony & reception. Gone is even the era of attending the church in respectable clothing. Wedding guests have been spotted wearing little more than short shorts, high heels and a cotton tank top. They may be Jimmy Choos and designer duds but really - shorts to a wedding, in the city no less? I could let it slide if it was a beach & barbecue wedding - that would be kinda appropriate but wouldn't be better to buy a pretty sun dress or some linen pants and a lightweight shirt. Let's go people! Let's get dressed again.

I've changed my mind...

Lot's of times when we go over the plans for a wedding we discuss videographers along with photographers. Many photographers have been creating slideshows that are ready for viewing during the reception which is absolutely great. Because of this fun entertainment feature, many brides decide to hire just the photographer and leave out the video - the slideshow seems to be enough. As a planner, I tend to think of their budget and go along with their decision regardless of what it is. If a bride does want video - there are several companies that use 3 mm film or action cini-film and it looks so much more special than a bland corner mounted shot. I love the modern filmwork that is being produced - no more hours and hours of film to sit through, right?! So, getting to my point of changing my mind. My Mum visited from the Florida Keys to meet her new grandson and she brought us a special treat - her old videos converted to DVD. There was a bunch of different videos merged into one - vacations, family parties, conversations with the lens caps on, etc. But the one that was the most special was her wedding video. The video was taken by her very best friend Joyce. It was shakey, full of Joyces' banter with the person on the other side of the lens, cackled laughs and songs she would personnally sing. But, most importantly, my Father. My Father passed away four years ago from a massive heart attack at age 54. He had retired a short eighteen months prior, selling our family home and moving with my Mum to Florida. They were excited to spend the rest of their days watching sunsets and wearing flip-flops. His passing was a complete shock to us all and made us appreciate the time we all have with each other. Watching him appear on screen, full of life - just being him - crushed me. I hung on every word to hear his voice, watch him walk, touching my mothers back, kissing her and holding her hand. He was everything to our family and it was so special to see him again - as he was. I was thinking about my brides, how they feel on their wedding day, is just the way my mother felt. To lose that love of your life suddenly is heart-wrenching and to have that person - alive again in a way - is a gift that many should not substitute for a photo montage. A bride seeing her husband or a daughter seeing her father on a screen, when you can no longer touch that person, is emotionally priceless. I will now tell my story every time the decision arises - to video or not to video - and let my brides decide. Now, someone please get me a tissue and push play - one more time.

Hair and Make-up Nightmare

So, you've gotten all the jewels for your neck, wrist and ears laid out on the dresser. Your gown is hanging on the door. Your overnight bag is packed and everything ready to go. Time to sit and wait for your cousin to come by and do you hair. She's a little late because she was grabbing a coffee and bumped into an old friend while waiting in line. So, you call your friend, who is doing your make-up but she's not answering the phone. Fast forward an hour. Your cousin is there trying to set your curls but your hair is so fine they keep falling. Now, she is spraying the heck out of it and its getting slicker and slicker. It's not exactly what you wanted but she took so long - you only have 30 minutes left to get your make-up put on. Your friend pulls out her big plastic make-up bin "that has every shade under the sun - no worries". Too bad, it has every shade that matches her skin tone - not yours. It's Ok, since you are using your own foundation so you go ahead and let her start. Once you are finished up - you run to the bathroom mirror to see how perfect your reflection is. FAIL. The eyebrows she filled in make you look like Groucho Marx, the lip liner is two shades darker than your lipstick and your blush is a loud, silvery pink strip up the side of your face. Time to cry. Yes, I mean it - go ahead and cry. Let's rewind this scenario six months, shall we? When your planner said "who is doing your hair and make-up" you said "oh, my cousin and friend", did she give you a scared look with shocked, raised eyebrows. That should have been your cue to say - I need a team then, huh? Instead, you said - "I think it's a waste of money. Besides, my cousin did all the girls hair at prom and they looked awesome". Honey, this ain't prom and it's not dress up time - this is your wedding. You NEED a hair and make-up team. Your hair will stay all day and be exactly as you like it because the stylist will be familiar with your hair and what products to use to keep it perfect. Your make-up artist will consult you and use the perfect shades for your coloring. They will also apply it in such a way that the photographers lighting will not wash you out. Not to mention they are working for you. They are going to arrive on time, have their equipment organized and work efficiently to keep you on time. Hair will usually cost between $75 and $150 and make-up is between $75 - $125 and they can travel to you. Some stylists will even come 1/2 way through the reception to do touch ups. So, you should pay the price for a pro and not just pay the price going with the "Prom Night Special". Trust me - I've seen it and it ain't pretty.

Trouble

I am having a really tough day today!!! I lost my website content but I am working on it - well, they are working on it. I hope it will be solved today!!! I know you all love to search the web for your vendors and check out the pricing so that's what I was updating. That's what I get for giving too much information! HA!

So anyway - bear with me.